Finding my inner strength

March 28, 2012

It was such a weird day today, I am pretty sure I ran the FULL GAMUT of emotions.  I like to try and keep a positive spin on things, but its not always easy!  Shall we recap?

This morning I PR’d on my 3 mile time!  I’ve been trying to get my pace down and my next big 5k goal is to break that frustrating 27 minute point.  I’m proud of what I did, but I was also tired this morning, which lead to my being frustrated at the pace (no pun intended) I’m improving at.  You know me.  I want patience and I want it now…  Also.  I’m pretty sure PR’ing while tapering isn’t really the point…oops

I had a mini-anxiety attack this morning, for seemingly no reason, but I think I can tie it to my weekly (sort’ve?) meeting with my boss.  Each week the anticipation is always worse than the actual meeting itself, but its a hard habit to break.  Slowly but surely I am.

Work was pretty disappointing at first.  I’m frustrated, once again at what feels like being stuck and not being able to push back a particularly UN-surmountable hill.  I do research, so this isn’t exactly unheard of.  But all the same, I’m pretty tough on myself and I hate that the impression i’m giving isn’t my best.  HOWEVER.  Last year at this time, no joke, something like this would have sent me into a negative spiral of guzzling down another 4 cups of coffee (yowzas!) and a doughnut, nab some greasy french fries for lunch, hit up some pizza or Chinese food for dinner with a few beers and wallow in self-pity.  Looking back that’s a pretty miserable way to handle it.  But with a few kind words and what appears to be some new found inner strength,  I reached for my water bottle instead of that cup of coffee and it just went from there.  I was cleaning, I was working, I was productive and I was determined to not let this beat me.  I don’t know how I’ll work my way over the hill, but I am damn sure I’m going to figure it out.   I’m so glad I’ve been able to look back and see how far I’ve come and channel that frustration into something more positive and healthy.

So – a hodge podge of things today before I zip off to Yoga class – I think I’m going to need it tonight! I may be on taper, but don’t take away my yoga night!  Ommmmmmmmmm

First off.    Can we just discuss the awesomeness of this shirt?

Look at that smile! Can't keep me down!

A little free advertising 🙂

Seriously.

I love this shirt.  Its A.  Comfy.  B.  Fits great.  C.  Clearly, the message is appealing to me 🙂  D.  Um. Cute?  For serious.   The blog, http://www.nomeatathlete.com is a great resource for Veggie/Vegan athletes, runners, etc.   I would highly recommend clicking over, just in case you haven’t yet!

Secondly:  

That, my friends.  Is what I would call a SUCCESSFUL dinner of Vegan Mac & Cheese.  So, how do I define successful?

1.  Brandon didn’t run away screaming

2.  Brandon tried it willingly and decided someone has come up with a decent substitute for the “real thing”

3.  Brandon went BACK FOR SECONDS

4.  There were NO, none, zilch, zip, nada, ZE.RO. leftovers.

Winner winner fake-chicken dinner!  🙂  Note.  I do realize that by using bowtie pasta, I cannot actually refer to this as Mac and Cheese.  I walk a fine line between visionary and crazy.

Finally:  Has anyone read about this  ?  A transgender finalist in the Miss Universe Contest, Jenna Talackova has been DQ’d, because she was born male, despite identifying as a female since age four.  The Miss Universe website lists this in their History page

“These women are savvy, goal-oriented and aware. The delegates who become part of the Miss Universe Organization display those characteristics in their everyday lives, both as individuals, who compete with hope of advancing their careers, personal and humanitarian goals, and as women who seek to improve the lives of others.”

Does Jenna no longer embody those qualities because she wasn’t born as a woman?  Obviously I don’t think the organization thinks so, the website for the Canadian organization that sends contestants to the Miss Universe pageant appears to be supportive of Jenna’s future endeavors, but not of her participating in the program.   I think its an interesting look at how long established rules may no longer apply to current standards.  But is the answer to change the rules, or to maintain a longstanding tradition?  I have my own thoughts on the matter, but was wondering what anyone else thought?

Discuss, friends!!  Who else is improving these days?  Mentally, emotionally, physically!?

xo

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3 Responses to “Finding my inner strength”

  1. bearrunner Says:

    Great job with the 5k Pr. Congratulations 🙂

    I would rather be out training anyday over working… Even swimming! haha

    cheers

  2. Vanessa Says:

    Love that shirt!


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